being and nothingness

this is not an ersatz exercise. but that is how i am feeling now. i am now being perturbed by a momentous but really sombre feeling of having nothing to do in life. till now i had something or the other to do in my life. till 23 i had to submit a report of my final year in my graduation. till yesterday i had to give a presentation to give. though during that one i was confused whether i portrayed the guts to speak honestly or was trying to manipulate the judges to my private interests. but anyways now it is all gone.
till the moment before i am writing this i had to mend a broken relationship with a friend. unassumingly i have to submit to the fact that this might be the last chance to make or break the friendship. so that is also done now. therefore now it is like i am "being lived" in an etrenity of nothingness. perhaps my body says and agrees pleasantly to the fact that now atleast it can indulge in the otherness that we associate with life. but the soul demands emancipation from the oppression of the nothingness that is enveloping the existence of it.

anyways however the things are gone. now is the time to recollect and relish the memories that have built up with the four year stint at this college. whatever that may be memories are always cherishable.......

i am just feeling like a cry baby and want to break down and shed tears that would make even the Amazon shy away.


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